Reframing
Human beings have a built-in, biologically-necessary ability to identify threats. Back when we were running from saber-toothed cats and avoiding environmental hazards with little more than our limited wits to save us, this mechanism was a critical tool for survival. Today, many of us live in an ultra-convenient, comfort-at-our-fingertips, technologically advanced and enhanced world where true threats to survival are few and far between. This is not to say that there aren’t people out there with real, immediate life-or-death problems, because there are. Likely, though, that if you’re reading this, you aren’t one of those people.
Without true threats to our survival, we are forced to apply our “identify the threat” mechanism to other areas of our lives; this means that today’s humans have a penchant for focusing on the negative. Perhaps you’re familiar with this tendency; I know that I am intimately acquainted with, and really good at, picking out the stuff that’s not going to work before the stuff that is, at pointing out people’s flaws, and at picking out the reasons that I’ll fail before I consider how I can succeed. This is sometimes referred to as mindset. Though it can be oversimplified - and will be in a moment - the concept of fixed and growth is applied heavily in performance psychology.
The simplistic version looks like this: If you have a fixed mindset, you generally believe that your abilities were determined at birth and that you are who you are without the ability to change very much, if at all. The fixed perspective creates closed-minded, sometimes volatile people with short tempers, fragile egos, and who are quick to give up and blame others when they reach their self-imposed limits. Conversely, a growth mindset says that your innate abilities are a foundation from which to grow, through effort and persistence, and involves investigation into oneself and one’s life. The growth perspective helps create inquisitive, humble, self-compassionate, challenge-embracing, dedicated learners. Take a moment and consider where you fall on this spectrum. If you, like me, have to work and be intentional about cultivating a growth mindset, well…welcome to the human race.
REFRAMING is a simple tool that we can use to begin to shift our mindset and open up a world of possibility filled with challenge, opportunity, and paths to growth. It’s very simple, though not necessarily easy:
Take a “fixed mindset” statement, for example: “I suck at this.” This one happens to be one of the most common and strongest of all fixed statements. No room for discussion.
Now, consider the “this” to which you’re referring. Are you learning a new physical skill? Or trying to master a piece of music? Or changing something about yourself? Rather than “I suck,” try something like: “This is really hard. How can I put myself in better position to succeed?” The question part is important, because curiosity is what opens the path to possibility and learning. Reframing can also include some positive self-talk: “This is hard, but I know that I’m not the only person who struggles with this, and that with practice I’ll improve. What can I do to help myself succeed? Who can help me?”
Here are a few “fixed” statements. See if you can reframe:
- “I can’t do this.”
- “This is too hard.”
- “This was never going to work anyway.”
- “That’s good enough, I’m done.”
- “I’m the best at this.”
- “My abilities determine everything.”
- “I’ll never be as (insert adjective) as (some “perfect” person). I should just give up.”
If you’re having trouble with this exercise or want to run your answers by me, or if you have questions about mindset, reach out! One of the most critical elements of growth is that we don’t accomplish it alone.