Awareness

“It all starts with awareness.”

These words, from the late Kobe Bryant, resonate with me more and more every day. Everything I’m seeing around me, everything I’m experiencing in my work and in my world, and every relationship and friendship and interaction reinforces the truth of those words and the importance of the practice of paying attention. Paying attention to what’s happening around us, yes; more importantly, paying attention to what’s happening inside of us as we move through the world. 

The most basic tenet of mindfulness is the practice of non-judgmental awareness and acceptance of my present-moment experience with the intention of first being where I am, and then choosing what I’m going to do with the information that I’ve just learned. The addition of action to awareness in a mindfulness practice is important; while learning to just be is often a huge challenge and is a crucial first step, the reality is that we also have to live in the world, engage in our lives, be present not just for the stillness but also for the motion of life on Earth. Choice is critical – and yes, sometimes the choice is to be still or just be – and how we make choices goes a long way to determining the quality, usefulness, safety, joyfulness, and direction (among other things) of our experiences.

So, mindfulness with directional intention, or as George Mumford would say, “right action.” The combination of awareness of where I am in a given moment (physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, relationally, etc) and the space created by my mindful examination of that moment, allows me to determine what I’m going to do next by asking: What’s Important Now? The answer lets me know where and how to apply or direct my attention or effort. This is important because we can expend a lot of finite personal resources – attention, energy, willpower, empathy – trying to accomplish the wrong things (by wrong, I simply mean what’s not important now or what’s not within my control). So what are the right things?

Well, the “right” thing to focus on can change from moment to moment. This doesn’t at all mean that you should just do whatever you want, because “right action” has a moral center and is grounded in self-awareness, intuition, humility, and compassion. It’s just that each moment requires us to evaluate what is needed. Sometimes this need comes from the outside like when my team or my family or community needs me to show up for them; these still require self-awareness but are often easier to recognize because we are accustomed and built to look outwardly. Other times, and usually more difficultly, the “right action” comes from inside. What do I need in this moment? What is really important, or what will be most effective in helping me reach the next step in the process? 

We’re not always going to like the answer, especially when the “right action” dictates that we risk disappointing someone or going against an established norm by setting a boundary. In these moments, it is crucial to understand that in order to recharge the resources that help us navigate life in a healthy (not always easy) way - resources that we need in order to choose right action or effort - boundaries are necessary. These boundaries are, ideally, based on our own self-knowledge, mindful engagement, and awareness. If what I need or what is required of me – What’s Important Now – means that I need to take care of myself rather than giving everything of myself to a cause or a goal or a person, I have to honor that need. Self-Care isn’t selfish; it’s how we rebuild the resources required to serve others. Practicing awareness of when those resources are running low - and choosing to recharge - is how we avoid burnout.

Awareness is also the first step in understanding what we need to do to perform, and it’s how we stay committed to whatever those requirements ask or demand of us. If I don’t know myself, I don’t know what I’m capable of or what tools I have at my disposal. If I’m not aware of my experience, I can’t choose improve or change it. If I don’t understand where I am, how can I get to where I want to be? If I can’t objectively and compassionately evaluate my performance, how can I make use of the learning and growth opportunity embedded in my mistakes and failures? 

It’s not about doing this all at once; we have to start small. 

1.     Take a couple of deep breaths, take a moment, and ask yourself how you feel RIGHT NOW. No judgment, no criticism, no value attached to it, and no need to do anything about it. 

2.     Ok, now ask yourself “what do I need right now?” Whatever the answer is, as long as it has a moral center and is grounded in self-awareness, humility, and compassion (for yourself, too, don’t forget), it’s ok.

3.     Can you give yourself the gift of that thing right now? Maybe it’s something simple, like a glass of water or a breath of fresh air (if you live in a city, maybe that’s not so easy). If it’s something a little bigger, how can you take a step towards it? If it’s something you need to do in order to get to a goal, what steps can you take or moves can you make to get yourself a little closer?

4. Take action.

5. Take a couple of deep breaths, take a moment, and ask yourself…

Whenever you can, in an available moment, run through this process. Eventually, this method of evaluation will get quicker and more decisive, and you will become more mindful in relation to your choices and actions. Sometimes paying attention is hard; boundaries also help us decide what we are and are not willing to give our attention and energy and resources to. Does it resonate with that deeper, intuitive and humble and compassionate place from which you’re making your evaluation? If not, maybe let it go. It’s a practice, and it all begins with awareness.