W.I.N.

There are lots of ways to do a self check-in. A few deep breaths, a journal reflection, an honest “look in the mirror.” In sport, as in life, the practice of honest reflection is critical because we have to be with things as they are - rather than what we wish they were or what we want them to be someday - if we want to have any influence over what’s in front of us. If I’m not truthful, humble, and reflective about myself, then not only am I living a lie, I’m giving up my power to choose and my power to influence my own destiny.

I can’t change the past, as much as I sometimes would like to: What happened, happened. It does me no good to regret or ruminate or be ashamed or to wish that things were different, and those emotional tethers prevent me from learning from that past and moving forward. Instead of keeping myself stuck by playing tug-of war with something that isn’t going to budge or change, what I can do is let go of my emotional attachment to the past by forgiving whoever needs forgiveness (usually myself) and choosing to direct my energy and attention to the present. It doesn’t change it or make it not have happened, but it makes it done. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have any feelings about it; what I’ve done is let go of my need to change it, which can move me out of regret, frustration, and shame and towards learning and self-knowledge.

I also don’t know the future. I can visualize it, pray for it, want it and desire it and dream about it. I can try to predict it, have an opinion about it, try to plan for it. I can believe in it, and that’s important. What I can’t do is KNOW what’s going to happen; I can’t just skip ahead to the last episode. Nevermind missing all the plot and character development; if I’m always thinking about and trying to know the future, I’m stuck in the unknowable and ungrounded from the now. Instead of clinging to something that is immobile - the past - I’m trying to catch something that is too elusive and amorphous to hold, and yet the result is the same. Just like my tether to the past, my frantic emotional connection to the future is a distraction and a diversion of resources - energy, attention, willpower - away from the only place where I actually have some control: Right here, right now.

So, as often as you need to, as often as you can remember, ask:

What’s Important Now?

This is the question that can orient us to the present moment and help to clarify the next step, whether that is a task or an action or just giving myself some space and some grace to fail and then move forward. It is the question that helps me disengage from the distractions of the past while taking forward what’s useful to inform the present, and helps me let the future be in the future while embracing the possibilities of the unknown. It helps me reclaim some control over my process, my path, my performance, my behavior, my choices, and my destiny.

It helps me W.I.N.